I'm sure most of you have heard my ridiculous Sara Quin encounter, where I hopped out of a car in the street and ran up to her, awkwardly attempting to start a conversation. Well, my friends, I've done it again.
At the movie theater last night, I turned the corner from the bathroom only to see:
Although in reality it was more like:
I bumbled for a moment before retreating back to the safety of the darkened theater.
Celebrity encounters are strange. We have a feeling of comfort and familiarity with those we see on screen, yet seeing them in person is an entirely alien experience. They have no clue who we are, and we know so much of them. It leaves you with a desire to speak to them, but difficulty in deciding what to say, especially since it's usually a random situation where you have but a moment to make a decision.
I rely on the following steps to create the perfect awkward celebrity encounter.
In this first step, I usually have a quick realization that a celebrity is near. If it's someone I care little about, like Moka Only, the process will stop at this step and I will go on with my day. If it's one I respect/admire, let the awkwardness commence.
2. Get their attention
This will be a sudden, jarring move. Either a blurted out comment, with little cognitive intelligence behind it, or an unexpected physical movement. Either way, be sure to get the celebrity's attention and catch them off guard. Often at this stage, their eyes widen and their mouths open.
Here is where I make contact with the celebrity. Approach them quickly, don't anticipate your steps but rather let them come as they wish, weave to and fro if necessary, it adds to the excitement. Attempt to touch them if possible, or speak whatever comes to your mind, regardless of whether it's logical or not. Treat them as if they are an old friend, and when they seem dumbfounded, become flushed and move to the last step.
Here I often turn and run away from the subject. They are usually still stunned by the entire experience, so will likely be less aware of your actions. You will be free shortly after this step.
Now you will return to your safety zone with family or friends, and explain to them in great detail, over and over again, the encounter you just had. Be sure to speak quickly, and if possible tap your leg as you speak. The anxiety is normal, and will lessen over the following hour or two.
Congratulations, you have successfully had an awkward celebrity encounter. Please feel free to comment on your own as they undoubtedly come up.